Oh Boy(s)!!!!!!!

As most of you know, I had the twins on Wednesday, July 22nd. What a whirlwind!

Here's the birth story:

I had my regularly scheduled OB appointment. I went in and asked her how to check to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. I'd noticed some extra fluid down there and really, I thought I was peeing myself...which would not surprise me in the least! So, she checked me internally and said indeed I was leaking some fluid AND I was 3 cm dilated. Apparently Baby A's bag broke, but his head was so low it was blocking the leak. This can be dangerous. Very high risk of infection for both baby and mom. Luckily, we were both in the clear, so I have to be thankful for that.

So, as she's telling me I'm going to the hospital to start inducing and to have these babies, I look at her with my golf ball size eyes and say, (in my most sophisticated way) "Holy shit!" My Dr. says to me, "Sweetie, you can even say Holy fuck if you want."

I love my OB. Seriously.

So, Jeff says, "How long do you think we'll be there?"

It apparently was not registering AT ALL that we were having babies. He thought I was going to be monitored. SO, the Dr explained it to him and told me to get dressed so we can talk more outside. She leaves, I go to put on my clothes, I turn around and Jeff had started to FLIP OUT. He's crying, he's bent over at the waist, practically hyperventilating. I, however am eerily calm. I go over and ask him what's going on, where are you at, are you alright?

He says, between sobs, "I'm not ready, I have so much to do, nothing is ready, it's too early..." etc. I calmly tell him that we have a job to do, there are no other options, and I needed him to pull himself together because I needed him now. Also, how lucky for him that he didn't need to be "ready" as I was the one giving birth and all he had to do was hold my leg. Ha!

He got himself together and off we went to the hospital. As we were walking towards the car, he called 3 or 4 people trying to find someone to pick up Zach at preschool. He was all over the place. He told all these people the same thing! So I took the phone away from him and handled that. I've never seen him so...scattered. And that really is an understatement.

We got to the hospital which is practically right next door to my OB's office. They gowned me up and at 11:30 gave me my epidural and started my Pitocin. The Pitocin makes you contract, therefore induces labor. My epi man was very cute and very good at what he does, thank goodness! I felt nothing! It was so great. Some people say, well you can't have to much epidural because then you can't tell how to push. I disagree. I don't need to feel how I'm pushing. How about I try it and you tell me if I'm doing it wrong. I will fix it. I don't want to FEEL it. And I didn't and I was happy. I think there were rainbows in my room, even.

It was time to push. I pushed probably 3 times and Baby A was out. I couldn't believe it!! I pushed for 1.5 hours with Zach, and the entire labor was 13 hours! This was unreal. Jeff went over to see them clean him up and while he did that they upped my Pitocin because my contractions had peetered out. I then needed to push to get Baby B to come down since he was higher. I can't tell you how much I didn't want a C-section. When they told me to push, I pushed like my life depended on it, so he wouldn't flip and go breech. If that happened, they would have to do an emergency C-section. Well, needless to say, I got him down there without flipping. It probably took 2 extra pushes to get him out, but boy did he fly out!! Good thing the Dr. was there to catch him! Baby A was born at 2:55pm, weighing in at 3lbs 11oz. Baby B was born at 3:12pm, weighing in at 4lbs 6oz. I don't remember the exact lengths but they were about 17 and 18 inches.

I held each of them for only a minute or so and then they took them to the NICU. I didn't realize at the time that that was the last time I would hold them for a while. I still haven't held them and today is Saturday. They have some respiratory issues and Baby A has a little jaundice. They are hooked up to lots of monitors and wires. It's very difficult to see them like that. They have IV's and last night they had to intubate Baby B to give him some surfactant. Surfactant is like lubrication in your lungs and most preemies need help getting some because of their age. Preemies also tend to do worse before they get better. The first 72 hours is crucial and after that it's more obvious how things will go. We hit 72 hours this afternoon. I talked to the Dr. this morning and they are both doing very well and Baby B responded very well to the surfactant.

When Jeff and I left the hospital yesterday, we both got to change a diaper! You would think we've never changed a dipe before! They are so little and fragile looking, with all these wires...it was tricky.

It's also very difficult. Not to be a total buzzkill but I never thought having babies in the NICU would be this hard. Of course, I was prepared for this since I found out I was having twins. But nothing really prepares you. The NICU itself is a big room with about 8-10 other babies who have their own problems. There are tons of people and each baby has at least one nurse, sometimes two. So it's a lot of rushing around and people and strangers. Then the monitors and the wires and the beeping...their heels are all marked up from the heel pricks. They have bruising from all the IV's. Their skin is raw from all the tape holding all the monitors in place. It's awful. I've been told that they need to use all their energy to help heal their problems. So, if I touch them and they get wound up, they're using that energy to be wound up, not to heal. Therefore, I feel like I shouldn't even touch them. But of course, I want to. It's all I can do not to grab them and make a run for the door! I feel like I haven't bonded with them. It's almost like being at the zoo and looking at some rare animal through glass. Some moments are harder than others. Morning seem to be more difficult for me. Nights are easier.

I'm pumping and will continue to do so. My milk hasn't come in yet but I think I'll feel much better when it does. At least I'll be contributing something.

As for names, yes we are close. It's taking us some time because we can't see their faces or hold them. I will let you know once it's solidified.

Ok some pics:

Got the epi. Feeling so great!

Jeff cutting the cord for Baby A

Baby A trying out his lungs
I think this is Baby B. It's hard to tell them apart in the pictures. They actually look very different, but it's all a blur at this moment. Baby A has dark blonde hair and Baby B has dark hair.
Baby A

Baby B. He looks more like Zach did. It's hard to tell until they gain a little more weight, though.